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Although I can’t eat as well as I used to, Dad and I do manage a Sunday meal together and, I still get to toast my Mother: but it has to be white wine for me Now, as red wine gets to me… so, I’m glad they do those little bottles Now – and some, are quite good indeed… anyway…



After a meal on Sunday I had a new set of symptoms on Monday - wonderful; and, they'd got a prescription wrong I need. I had got it sorted. But I’d got very tired. Yet, I’d ended up alright, after a rest.



Since dad stopped driving it's meant a lot of changes and, more adaption for me.

And, as f'r drinks... me 'n tinned mackeral have found that a dash of mustard goes well with the tomato soup. then blended. MMMMmm.

My milkshakes have banana, blueberries and cream in 'em.



Then on Monday it had started as a fairly bad gut day – but, I got the housework done with dad, then made a disc of Luke Cage for a friend and, packaged it.

I had gone to the shopping complex in Bromborough and curry’s to get a Henry, for Dad. But it proved difficult - cause when I’d asked about home delivery, they talked about credit cards and the internet. So I’d walked out.



i did find what i wanted, at bhs in birkenehead. paid a little extra, for it and delivery -- but, in cash. It had been weird but, it had felt like an achievement --- just being able to pay cash.



That event had been me taking control. Sometimes events move quickly out of one’s control though.



I’d been thinking of Amanda and wondering if I’d see her again; so decided to do something about it and rang her.



The conversation had gone well, I’d thought. I’d finished it by making an arrangement to phone on the next Sunday, to make a date to meet up.



Well, a few days had gone by and she’d phoned me. The conversation had gone well, I had thought and, we’d talking of meeting up. Then, just as I’m thinking of what to do Dad for tea a few days later, she rang again: “Can we me meet outside in ten minutes?”



And, ten minutes later, there she was, at the end of the drive in her car. I had gone out the front door, walked over to the driver’s windows telling her how good she looked…



Then I’d crouched down, to be told, “I want to be honest. I’ve just come out of one relationship and I…”



She had said a little more, but that’s what I recall best; that and I had stood and turned and walked down the drive towards the backdoor, forgetting the front was open.



“You don’t have to go,” she had said.



To which I had replied, “Somehow I think I do…”



And, taking control again, can be a ‘right bugger’.



Then sometimes… they’re back out of your ‘control’. The other evening I heard from a friend, who knows my first human crush. I ended up speaking to her... first time since I was fourteen. I’d found it as embarrassing as hell and, he's threatened to arrange for us to meet.



Personally, I think I’ll get on with my projects… they’re more fun!

The Full Moon not only brought a change in the weather, but a change to all around me it does seem, at times. And, although I could list many, what’s the point – there will be more, of that I’m sure… Now… On Sunday I rose slowly, after a night of rain, with the aim of cleaning the windows at the back. Well as it happens, I’d got them done, between sun showers. And, I’d even got the garage door washed for Dad.

And, as I washed the garage door Dad had been pouring over documentation with the idea of returning his licence. More of that laters…

why is abc is the default password? It’s really too simple. well, too complicated.

programmers weren't bothered, thinking... or rather not bothering bout such matters, until problems arose. so the answer is, ‘not bothered.’ at first. hell, it was either that, 123, or fred. i liked fred.

‘n people are like that.

They have their default image of who you are and, the day you no longer fit that image, their manner changes toward you – ‘n sometimes it is a good reaction. Yet, more often that not, it isn’t… simply because you no longer fit their default perception of the you they think you were.

And yes, I ramble… but people do frustrate me.

It was there that I’d met an old friend of Ian’s who had gone to Ian’s wife’s funeral. It seems Ian speaks well of me to his friends - well fuck me in a fridge with hobnails boots on, I'd never had guessed. Someone showed me some of their writing: which is good. When they asked, “Do you think I can do this?” I’d responded, “why not. i do. difference is, I'm no longer seeking affirmation through my work. I finally found my voice. you're finding yours.” And, the best bit… I’d meant it. Then there was dad. He’d looked out the living-room window at the grey sky and said, “It’s a miserable day…” And, sounding a little out of character for me I later thought… I had said to my Dad, “It’s as miserable as you want it to be.” Well, true as that is… sometimes the days just are plain… grey. As I intimated, Dad’s sold his car. I think it was that most paperwork is done by computer and, it's something he won't do. So when we'd have got a taxi to Azda to do the shop, I went on my own, as he needed the dentist as an emergency. It had been an interesting shop - to say the least. But, 'they've labelled me an, they're given me money to do things - so, I will. And, if Dad benefits on the way... dead cool. For example, he couldn't eat... due to an extraction: so he had one of my Ensure drinks while I was out. Later, we'd both had blended vegetable soup, with garlic. And so, I make the best of what I have… it’s what you do.

COMMENTS

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NocturnumIgnem
01:57 Oct 15 2016

I dislike going to the dentist. But the soup sounds good - love some veggie soup.

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